Can't Sleep

So, what does one do when they can't sleep (due to fits of coughing) at 2:30am?, why they get up and drink some hot Chai tea and blog.......yes, I have managed to catch a cold of sorts, so far just a tight chest and nagging cough. I have been trying to stay healthy but I think the stress of it all has caught up. My fear as I told John is that after coughing my way through the flight, the Chinese will pull me to the side to make sure I am not bringing something dreadful like TB into the country. I remember another adoptive parent telling me it happened to her because she was having allergy issues and the passengers reported that she did a lot of coughing on the plane.Like I don't have enough to worry about!
Today is the day when we will get our final travel plans, including where we will be staying. We will also get that final big bill covering all lodging and in country travel. I'm sure it will be a bit more expensive this go around with Lily included and the fact that the kids are older and that flights are priced by age. I am just anxious to get the final details of where we will be staying.

Lily has been showing signs of anxiety. She had a full blown melt down last week, the kind where you can't understand a word she is saying, it is just "Na, Na, Na" over and over and a look of "you can't understand what I am feeling." Finally after trying to hold her and comfort her she calmed down enough to tell me she was scared to go to China. You have to think of what must be going through her head at this point. She knows she is from China and she knows we are going back to China. I asked her if she was afraid Mommy and Daddy were going to leave her in China and she shook her head yes. I assured her that we would never leave her side for a moment while in China and to think of this as a vacation. She had such a good time on our trip to Disney World that she insisted we needed to stay and live at the hotel we were staying at. I told her China would be like that too, wonderful hotels, a room to share with Mommy and Daddy and a new brother too. She seemed to digest that information and the melt down was over.

Lily says the cutest, sweetest things sometimes. While Lily, Yue Jia and I were in the car yesterday Lily said, "I miss my real Mom." Since she has said this before I knew right where she was going with it, but Yue Jia interpreted it to mean that Lily missed her birth Mom. I took the bait and said, "Lily, where is your real Mom right now?" Yue Jia asked her, "did you dream about her?" to which Lily replied, "no, she's sitting right in front of me driving the car!" I love being referred to as her "real Mom." Lily has quite the imagination and often refers to her imaginary Mom and Dad and big brother. She likes to tell funny stories about them that mirror image something from our family and then she laughs and laughs. I've never referred to myself as her "real Mom," that is totally a Lily expression. I often wondered if her "imaginary Mom" was really referrencing her birth Mom, but one day Lily told me she had three Mom's, "one in China, one imaginary Mom and you Mom!" I guess it takes three Mom's to raise one little girl.

Well, my tea is gone and I think I'll try to get a little sleep before another work day begins. Work has been very hectic this week. I had to close a restaurant and spend a lot of time with them on education and inspections before they were allowed to reopen. I will not be able to reach my inspection goal by the end of the week and feel bad leaving anything undone. It is not the end of the world and I'll just have to pick up where I left off when I get back in May. My co-workers are great and even though we are short three employees, not one of them has complained about me leaving and stressing them out with more more work and three new employees to train starting next Monday. Ok, the only one who has complained is my boss, but he says it in a joking manner. More later after we get our final travel plans this afternoon.